it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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