so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
