I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
