Moan for me like Helen Keller
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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