I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
