How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
oh god the rape fog is back!
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
