I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
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I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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