dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
