Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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