i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
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I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
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Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
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