I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Your penis caused this!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
