I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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