you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
