Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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