i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
