I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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