I think i peed on brittanys purse
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
