No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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