i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i can't believe i had my finger in that
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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