He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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