Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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