you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
