Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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