I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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