This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
