I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Randomize
