next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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