In America we eat man semen.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize