I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
