I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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