can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
