You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i jhust puked up my retainher.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Slut skills are useful in every country.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
