Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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