You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
