I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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