He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize