feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
