Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
