oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
