shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
as a side note pls kill me
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
