Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
