Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
