Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My feet surprised me
Panties = found
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
