you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize