So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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