Nicole vs. Life
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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