The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It was like giving head to a cactus.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
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