hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
