Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
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Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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