We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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