that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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