escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
How naked do you want me to be?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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