I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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