ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize