Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
