I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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