did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
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I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
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She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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