Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.

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(802): OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made. http://tfl.nu/87yq

Replies (111) Good night (47146) Bad night (2947)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..

(1-502): View more from Kentucky

Aren't you in 8th grade?

(502): View more from Kentucky

9th, but that's not the point.

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(502): I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school.. (1-502): Aren't you in 8th grade? (502): 9th, but that's not the point. http://tfl.nu/te0g

Replies (104) Good night (5849) Bad night (3865)
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(734): View more from Michigan

I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...

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(734): I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come... http://tfl.nu/n638

Replies (56) Good night (4203) Bad night (2394)
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(970): View more from Colorado

And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out

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(970): And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out http://tfl.nu/oush

Replies (12) Good night (6293) Bad night (1214)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.

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(919): I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three. http://tfl.nu/4nlq

Replies (8) Good night (1100) Bad night (3039)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.

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(864): just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring. http://tfl.nu/qf1b

Replies (7) Good night (3679) Bad night (1147)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.

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(610): I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you. http://tfl.nu/0cak

Replies (13) Good night (1433) Bad night (2592)
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(563): View more from Iowa

Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.

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(563): Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks. http://tfl.nu/j9ui

Replies (8) Good night (2504) Bad night (1197)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions

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(504): I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions http://tfl.nu/9mik

Replies (3) Good night (1168) Bad night (547)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.

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(978): Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you. http://tfl.nu/qush

Replies (4) Good night (1191) Bad night (586)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?

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(734): Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night? http://tfl.nu/9xzb

Replies (1) Good night (660) Bad night (481)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.

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(603): Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj. http://tfl.nu/n7sy

Replies (6) Good night (1198) Bad night (422)
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(708): View more from Illinois

I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.

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(708): I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer. http://tfl.nu/vs89

Replies (2) Good night (670) Bad night (422)
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(443): View more from Maryland

You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.

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(443): You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober. http://tfl.nu/yspt

Replies (1) Good night (818) Bad night (370)
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(410): View more from Maryland

The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.

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(410): The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club. http://tfl.nu/ncu7

Replies (0) Good night (495) Bad night (336)

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