ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
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If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
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Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?