So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.